Friday, March 13, 2009

Riding dirty

I want a ride with some more pizazz because my reliable and fuel efficient Chevy Cobalt just ain’t cutting it in our modern greedy world. In this age of reckless spending and Ponzi schemes generating fake wealth, I want to tool around in something that screams, “I’m rich! (well kinda, not really).” And what better way to show my manufactured/Ponzi scheme/toxic mortgage wealth than to drive a neon-green, soon-to-be-bankrupt Pontiac limousine that proudly announces that I just might be chauffeuring around Kyle Busch... or taking the kids to supper at Burger King.
I recently stumbled upon one of these elongated beauties about to be sold on eBay to the highest bidder (you’d have to be high to plunk down $14,000 on this POS). But alas, the bidding ended with some sucker throwing down $13,750 to be able to ride the highbanks of Daytona – or more likely the mean streets of Warrenton, Mo. – while sipping a Chardonnay.

Of course, with my 401k in the tank and mortgage payments on the ropes, maybe it’s better to consider a cheaper option. Now where’s that black and white spray paint?

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